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OUR FRIEND (2019)


 

OUR FRIEND (2019)

A man sits by the bedside. A woman lies in the bed, unseen. There is a conversation. A decision to be made. Who should be the one to tell?

Starring Casey Affleck, Dakota Johnson, and Jason Segel, Our Friend (2019) is a drama that tells the unvarnished story of the Teague family, in which Matthew Teague’s (Casey Affleck) wife Nicole (Dakota Johnson) is diagnosed with cancer. Daily life takes a sudden turn, everything changes — but surprisingly, a source of steadfast help and calm in the chaos arrives in the form of Dane Faucheux (Jason Segel), a mutual friend of the couple.

The film is based on Matthew Teague’s powerful and brutally honest essay “The Friend: Love Is Not a Big Enough Word”, published in Esquire in 2015, one year after Nicole’s death. The title refers to Dane Faucheux, who left behind his hometown, job, friends, and girlfriend to be there for the family.
The essay itself is more raw and detailed than the film, and understandably so. It earned Teague the National Magazine Award in 2016.

The film is emotionally rich and rhythmically fluid, managing to explore the dynamics of friendship and togetherness with sincerity and intensity. While friendship is the film’s core, the shadow of a terminal illness lingers heavily throughout. At times the waters are calm, at other times turbulent. At its harshest, we witness unfiltered physical and emotional suffering as illness rips through daily life without mercy.

“We don’t tell each other the truth about dying, as people.
We don’t speak of real dying. Real, everyday dying is so harrowing and ugly
that it becomes the worst thing of all: It’s grotesque.
It’s undignified. No one ever told me the truth. Not once.”
— Matthew Teague, Esquire, May 10, 2015

The screenplay thoughtfully opens doors to the many aspects of everyday life — how a serious illness affects close relationships, and how it impacts outside social interactions. Often, the greatest fear is having to face the illness itself.
At its heart, the film poses the unavoidable question: What is it like to die? And in the same breath, it highlights the significance of friendship. Fortunately, the film avoids sweeping philosophical or political statements.

Director Gabriela Cowperthwaite — originally a documentarian — brings a restrained, focused vision to the story. The film’s slow, quiet moments reflect intimacy, presence, and unhurried tenderness, which become the film’s greatest strengths.
The casting is exceptional. Jason Segel delivers what may be his finest performance. Hollywood-style excess sentimentality is wisely avoided, allowing the film to steer clear of cliché and melodrama.

Read Matthew Teague’s original essay:
https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/a34905/matthew-teague-wife-cancer-essay/

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